For those of you who haven’t heard, we recently stayed on Coronado Island for vacation. A fun fact about Coronado is that it is home to a Naval Base which hosts Navy SEAL training. This is certainly more interesting than the fact that Orville Redenbacher died on the island, which is equally true.
After a little research, I found SEAL is an acronym for “Sea Air and Land” teams which confused me, because the correct acronym should be the SALs. This is possibly not be the vibe they want to put out, hence the Navy’s liberal interpretation of acronym rules. Regardless, Navy SEAL training is notoriously brutal, with something like a 90% “wash out” rate. Sounds pleasant.
During our stay we rented bikes, because we pride ourselves on being an active family, and pedaled around the island. As an aside, the bike rental company had an incredibly clever name, our hotel is known as “The Del,” and the bike rental was called “peDels.” Brilliant, right? OK, so they took a little liberty with the spelling of pedal, but its cute.
So, as we bike around the island we come to this beautiful park. What makes this particular place extra scenic were the gorgeous physical specimens jogging around the park, shirtless and sweaty in all their 3% total body fat glory. My goodness, even my 10-year-old daughter immediately realized these are not the normal humans we are accustomed to seeing in our world. Even the fittest amongst us do not come close to the degree of physical perfection these guys have attained. For this, I salute them and thank them for their contribution to my vacation.
Later that evening we were sitting at a restaurant when we noticed some people stringing yellow scene tape, cordoning off a section of beach around some big rocks. We asked our waitress what was going on, she told us there was an injured seal washed up on the beach. Turns out she was totally making this up.
In reality, they were setting up for nocturnal SEAL training. As darkness settled in, rubber boat loads of cadets paddled onto shore. Once they landed, they did a variety of pointless, but really difficult, exercises like lunges with the boat held over their heads, push ups with their feet up on said boat, the kind of stuff I rebel against, which is why this whole boot camp exercise trend will have to carry on without me.
After they finished, they came to our side of the rocks where some guy on a bull horn yelled instructions at them. At one point he made them run into the water, (have I mentioned how cold the ocean is), roll around and then run back, it was kind of weird. He warned them that if they did not complete these tasks perfectly, they would be “recycled back to Instructor Wilkowski” who must be a real tool, because nobody seemed to want that to happen.
We found out why Instructor Wilkowski was to be avoided. He was the guy that made them climb over the huge, slippery rocks, in the dark, with their boat held over their head. Gads!
The whole thing was exhausting to watch, which is why we left and went for ice cream. We did have the decency not to eat it in front of the SEAL trainees. Frankly, I was afraid Instructor Wilkowski might see us and take our cones.